By Jovan Stipić

"Byron would never be able to pull with a woman who went to church punctually, understood statistics, and had a bad figure." Again, a quote by Madam Caroline, of whom we spoke last time! Though I agree that women who know statistics are devils' agents and women who go to church punctually are serial killers, it was clear that it was nothing more than a snarky remark toward Byron's newest love conquest.

We, of course, are talking about Annabella Milbanke. A far cry from the turbulent Caroline, who was her cousin, Annabella was a down-to-earth mathematician who began her relationship with our poet as friends, believe it or not. Though I do believe that women who know math are far more dangerous than women who know statistics, as I was told repeatedly by the said female mathematicians, "Math and statistics are not the same."

As we can see, Byron, a lunatic, had swapped one looney for another. One that was kind, compassionate, polite, and, as we can see, an all-around lovely person. It is truly one for the crazy house. Before we continue, though, and all charming jokes aside, we are delving into parts of Byron's life where he would do terrible things to people around him. Both his wives and his children. Fair warning if you wish to leave now and remember me by witty jokes and playful innuendos. You can merrily come back after I am done with Byron and move into the next author I plan on writing about.

Still here? Alright.

In 1813, out of the blue, Byron proposed to Annabella over a letter. A true romantic. One theory is that, because of increasing rumors of his gay love affairs, which was, again, illegal at the time, he needed something to divert the attention of high society. Annabella, the sensible person that she was, refused.

Shock, I know.

It wasn't until 1814 that she had let him know that if he wished to do so, he could ask again. Byron didn't hesitate and the pair married in the January of 1815. Unfortunately, while his previous relationship was a cause of drama and hysteria, this one… well, it was downright abusive.

For some reason Byron found Annabella, his wife, the person he asked to marry, repulsive. He would wander their house at night with a loaded gun, muttering about killing himself; he threatened her and talked openly about his gay love affairs and even seduced an actress right in front of Annabella… while she was pregnant with their child.

We're not done; simultaneously, he falls madly in love with another woman. A young lady named Augusta who, just to make matters worse, was his half-sister. For the eagle-eyed, we mentioned her before as someone who loaned Byron money. Like all men, he, too, fell in love with a woman who had financial power over him.

Thankfully, for both your sanity and mine, there is no proof of any incestual relationship between them, picturesque or otherwise. There are so many signs pointing to them being together that a red flag becomes a red forest fire.

Again, this brings us to another reason why Byron probably wanted to marry. Aside from his love affairs, rumors spread about his incestual relationships as well. Whether he would have been successful in hiding all of his secrets didn't matter because he loathed his wife so much that he would constantly tell her about his relationship with Augusta.

His cruelty would, of course, not stop there as he would start firing pistols during the night and breaking bottles against walls just so that she would not be able to sleep. Most of these things happened while she was pregnant with their child.

But, since I refuse to end a part on a sour note, we'll talk briefly about that child. She was born in December of 1815, healthy and cute as a button, named Ada Byron, more commonly known to history as Ada Lovelace.

I know what you're thinking now, dear reader; why would she be known to history? What did she do to be remembered?

Well, besides being adorable, I mean, just look at her; she was also a mathematician and a writer. But those things are not what she's best known for. No, she was also a programmer.

A programmer, you say? In the 19th century? What witchcraft is this?

Now, before you call the local priest, let me explain. She not only saw the potential of Charles Babbage and his concept of a digital programmable computer (also known as the father of the computer), but she was also the first person to write an algorithm for a machine. More importantly, she was the first to think a machine could be used for more than calculation. Their work is the foundation of computer science, so all of our friends or "friends," depending on how you see them, from IT, will owe much of their work to her.

And with that positive note, I shall leave you and see you, probably next week, when we return to Lord Byron and his life.

Until then, Adieu.